This Friday we celebrate the festival of Tu Be Av, the 15th day of the month of Av, known in Jewish tradition as the festival of love. On this day in the past, young women would go into the vineyards dressed in white and seek a partner. Beneath the full moon, they danced and were filled with joy as they sought love and happiness.
Today, this festival has morphed into a kind of Jewish Valentine’s Day, an auspicious day for weddings and a time to celebrate love. It is interesting that this festival is always celebrated at the time we read this week’s parashah Vaetchanan, within which are the words of the shema prayer: “veahavta” “and you shall love.” The very portion which speaks of the love between God and the people of Israel, is read at a time when we celebrate and rejoice in love.
But this passage has led to much discussion and debate. How is it possible to command an emotion? How can we be told to “love?” And in fact, in the Torah we are commanded to love in a number of places and to love a number of people. We are told to “love the stranger” “to love our neighbours as ourselves” and of course, in this week’s portion, to “love God.” Rabbi Jonathan Sacks points out that in the book of Deuteronomy, the word “love” appears 23 times. In Genesis, 15 times and then only 4 times total in the other books. The references to love in Genesis are all connected with personal relationships: spouse, parents, children, but in Deuteronomy it concerns love of the stranger, people and God. This, Rabbi Sacks suggests, is surprising given that Deuteronomy is a book concerned mostly with rules and laws, yet it contains the highest number of mentions of the word love. What do rules and laws have to do with love: a feeling, an emotion? Rabbi Sacks suggests that the rules and laws, the constraints we place upon ourselves, are the ways we demonstrate, create and sustain the love for which we have been commanded. (Rabbi Jonathan Sacks “Making Love Last.”)
Rami Shapiro offers a different interpretation. He connects the words of the shema, “listen, hear” with the manifestation of love. He suggests that the two parts of the prayer go hand in hand. In order to love, we need to listen and when we stop, hear and truly, deeply listen to the other, then we make a connection with them, embrace them and love them. He argues that when we listen deeply, we find the “echad” the oneness and unity in creation. We can see that God is one and so too, we are all one.
We encounter the Divine in one another, we find the connection which links all of us together. He writes: “What is the meaning of “you shall love?” It isn’t a command, it is a consequence. Do not read: “you must love” rather read: “you will love.” In other words, if you listen and hear the unity of God as all reality, then you will love God as all reality and all reality as God…this is what happens when Neshama is tilled by spiritual practice: you engage the world with love.” (Rami M Shapiro “Open Secrets”)
So, for Rami Shapiro, love is a consequence of listening, hearing and seeing the other and recognising the unity of humanity in that deep connection. For Rabbi Sacks, that love is a consequence of constraint, following the commandments, reaching out to one another and connecting through the commitment to God, humanity and ourselves.
The Torah commands us to love: to love God, our neighbours and ourselves. Each one flows from the other, from seeing God in the faces of others, reflected in ourselves and in the world around us. Tuning into the hum which permeates all humanity and links us together in a beautiful song of love. I pray that this time of Tu BeAv we can feel and express the love in our souls and sing the song of love into the world so in need of the healing power of love.
Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Jacqueline Ninio OAM
Love is an action word which then leads to the emotional feeling. God acted when he created everything, then He loved it. We are the image of God so when we act, emotional responses follow. At present this is so evident in the world because the actions of political leaders are leading to fear (hate & violence result). Were their actions to lead to love, it will be because they listened and cared. Shalom Rabbi Jacqueline.